Godmama Says…
a buncha stuff.

for the love of god, pt 1

Have you ever wondered what sex with God would be like?  I have.  Many religions have a version of the Immaculate Conception story, but the best part is left out.

“One day she was pregnant.   It was a miracle.   An angel sang.  The End.”  YAWN.

The story of Mary’s conception is all symbolic with no good stuff.  A dove flies through her window and she hears the voice of an angel or something.  But what if it was all literal?   What if an almighty being descended upon the earth, woke this 14 year old little virgin girl from her sleep, and actually impregnated her the way that things get impregnated?  Maybe the angel and the dove is her post trauma way of covering the memory of what actually happened.

Of course the Virgin Mary– God’s Mama– is a rip off and bastardization of earlier mythologies in which God WAS Mama… but we’ll save that for later.  From a storytelling standpoint, however,  it might be more believable if the missing details were filled in.  Like how did that girl get pregnant? Not by whom, but HOW.  How powerful is this God that all he could do to knock a girl up was blow a kiss and send a bird?

This kind of missing mythology fascinates me enough that it happens to be the inspiration for the book I’m working at.  Part of it anyway.  What would a sexual encounter (or even relationship) with a deity be like?   Would it be tender and sweet like angel whispers and dove feathers?  Or would it be like fucking a storm?   I asked myself that question one day a couple years ago, and the following passage is some of what I came up with….

(It’s another of my favorite things I’ve written so far… Slight change from the Tiger and Butterfly)



a violent crack in the air releases the deafening assault of god’s call
but deafness could bring no relief from this impossible roar.

overtaken by the sound of the sun,
stunned wide open,
frozen helpless in the clutches of horrifying ecstasy…
light becomes brighter with eyes closed… TOO bright,   relentless
never offering the escape of blindness

spread eagle
spinning stretching bending
flesh gives way
the soul refracts and spreads like light through a prism

cells divide and burst as rumbling storm clouds unable to contain their floodwaters

the kiss destroys, devours, and breathes new life
swallowed whole and sucked apart by the weightless gravity of being consumed and reborn

stroked and pulled inside out by the incessant licking from a million a million hungry tongues of flaming wet light

the soul stretches to receive MORE light
wider and wider
ripping itself apart and begging to be healed
wider and wider
it’s not enough
it burns…. it bleeds…

screams become bolts of lightning that double back and penetrate again
endless and thick
frozen electric fire stabbing again and again
deeper than allowed….deeper than possible….

please make it stop…never let it end…..

fear boils hot, then rises up and away like smoke
tears fuel more fire
born again to be torn apart again
ripped open….
Desperately Open…
and fucked by The Light.


One Response to “for the love of god, pt 1”

  1. I think it pretty much always sucks for people to be beloved of the gods…

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