Godmama Says…
a buncha stuff.

i was dreamin’ when i wrote this

I’ts 4am.  I am thoroughly exhausted in all possible ways, but the moon is full which means I can’t sleep.  I always forget, but this always happens.  It’s not just the bright light but the “noise” of it.  It’s like it shines a high-beam on clutter in my brain and makes it buzz.  In a fantasy world,  I should just give in to the moon’s call and go outside to bask in it… see what it wants.  In this world, however, I have to be up and ready for work soon.  Being sleepless and overtired when you work in a fast-paced kitchen leads quickly to self mutilation.

And so while I hover in a wide awake dreamstate struggling to dive back into unconsciousness , my mind coughs up some random memory and spins it around and around under the iridescent scrutiny of the full moon’s unwavering stare.  Usually it’s a silly worry or a nagging bit of unfinished argument from some point in my recent (or very, very distant) past.   Often it’s something I can do absolutely nothing about at 2, 3, or 4 in the morning, like Haitian earthquake victims, or my shitty IRS situation (we’ll talk later)….

But tonight it is something much more sinister and inexplicable than any of that.

Do you know the song “Grazin’ In the Grass”?  Apparently I do, and it hasn’t stopped playing in the center of my forehead since about 2:15 am when I first woke up to the sound of that fucking horn section intro.   Why, Brain?? Why are you doing this to me? Why NOW??! It’s offensively perky at any hour, and I have no idea where this reference even came from.  Maybe being in the car with my mother listening to an oldies station decades ago?  Maybe in an elevator or grocery store recently?  I have no idea, but I had to get up and confront it, so I looked it up, and now I’m sharing it with you.  Sweet Dreams are NOT made of this:


2 Responses to “i was dreamin’ when i wrote this”

  1. Hi Maya,
    It’s been a while. I like your writing in this post.

    I don’t know if you posted a picture, but I can’t see it.
    Take care.

    • There’s not a picture but there is a video attached of the horrible song that was stuck in my head. Be glad you can’t see it 😉 …and thanks for the compliment!

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