Godmama Says…
a buncha stuff.

sproing!

Time changes tonight.  No, that is incorrect.  Time doesn’t change, but we will change our clocks, and eventually we will relax into believing what the clock says, even though it will hurt and suck to wake up that extra hour early for a while and our bodies will insist on reminding us that what we did to the clocks makes no sense.  The clocks don’t tell time:  the sun does, the seasons do, the clocks do not.  But tonight there will be no 2 a.m.  It won’t exist.  We will be sucked exactly one hour into the future.

Weird.

I do like the sound of the words “spring forward”, though.  Makes me feel like I should leap into the next phase of my life, bunny rabbit style.   I haven’t had much leaping energy lately, however.  Fortunately, I may have just discovered the reason why.   I had bloodwork done last month by an endocrinologist whose gig it is to figure out what’s up with the babymaker.  Turns out something is wonky with my thyroid.  (Isn’t that an old lady thing?  Ohhh, wait… dammit.)   This means that there is something tangible that can be pointed to and treated,  and I don’t have to feel so heavy (literally and otherwise) and sleepy all the time.  I can get the spring back in my step! (See how I tied it together there?)   Of course I didn’t feel like waiting around for somebody to prescribe something synthetic and expensive, so I did some researching and googling followed by some supplement shopping.  Sixteen bucks later I got myself some ‘spring forward’ in a bottle.  Hopefully.

The bad news came in the form of bills I got from the doc who did all the poking around.  $600 they want (and that’s after insurance does its share) for looking up my hooha and telling me everything looks great.   JUST FOR LOOKING.  Shouldn’t they be paying ME for peeks at my magic garden?   When I got the bill I had a good sized tantrum.  I am VERY sick of bills and my expensive body.  I actually cried and threw things*.

*By the way, if you’re going to throw something in anger, make it something nice and solid… like a shoe or a book.  Otherwise you won’t get the desired effect and that will piss you off more, causing you to throw more shit.  I think I threw a shirt first, and it just kinda flopped around in my face.   So then I threw my belt: same deal.  This is what caused the full on tantrum to erupt and I just started kicking shit around until I stubbed my toe, which of course led to frustrated girl-crying.   Start with a solid scream/shoe-toss combo and save your aching toe.  But I digress…

You see, it also turns out that sadness can be a symptom of an under-active thyroid, so I gave myself a pass on my juvenile outburst.  It’s nice to have a “condition” to blame for my present personality defects.  “Weight gain, low energy,  depression, lack of focus…”  It’s not my fault anymore!   I could probably oversleep,  punch my boss in the face, and then take a nap on my fat ass at work and not be held accountable!   Do I get a sticker for my car so I can park closer to stores now?  Hopefully this costly bottle of wonder pills will keep me from finding any of that out.  Stay tuned….

In the meantime spring is coming, there are irises popping up around our house, the weather is gorgeous, Husband is busy photographing the music festival downtown,  and all is well.  Just need my spark plug tweaked, and I will spring forward, too.

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8 Responses to “sproing!”

  1. Check out Gaia’s herbals,there’s great thyroid remedy that a friend of mine swears by and it’s 20 bucks.

  2. shop.gaiaherbs.com/Thyroid-Support/p/GAIA-90A30060

  3. Best wishes for you and your thyroid. Spring probably will help, too!

  4. When I was visiting a friend in Houston, she took me to a recycling place where we had the option of shoving individual beer bottles down a shoot to watch them shatter on impact. It beats throwing inanimate objects in your home that may or may not result in a mess. Cathartic and lovely.

    I hope all works out with your Thyroid. It’s a bitch of a temperamental gland that likes to wreak havoc on our bodily functions. I hope you kick its ass with nutrition and finesse.

    • watching beer bottles smash sounds nice…. i’ve been really REALLY wanting to go to a shooting range. i mean, if i must live in texas i might as well play with a gun at some point, yes?

  5. Sorry about your thyroid, but you had me cracking up with your humor.

    I agree, someone should pay you for having a good view down there (lol).

    The last time I went to the doctor for a check-up down there, the bill was over four thousand – I know they ripped me off because the fertility clinic said the procedure at their clinic only cost $700.00 – but the clinic is too far away.

    I’m two hours away from from being poked and stared at again by my OBGYN. I should give him a bill.


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