Godmama Says…
a buncha stuff.

name

I never shared my son’s name with anyone.
Partly because  it was a way to be in denial about the whole thing.  When we were at the funeral home and the giuy asked us his name I got furious and all I could say was “There is no name!” so the paperwork just said “Infant Boy Glick”, which also made me pretty furious.
But there most certainly is a name – a great name that’s been echoing around my head like a ghost because I haven’t let it out.

I also think I’ve been holding onto this idea that he was going to “come back”, and I should “save” his name for him.
But we spoke to him with this name,  we said “I love you” with this name.   It was his.  Sometimes when I would close my eyes and sing it into myself,  he’d respond with a little dance.
I need to release it now.

I have been calling him Starchild or Starman…and I’ve been extra obsessed with space travel lately.  At night I can’t look at the constellations anymore without feeling the break in my heart.

My son’s name was Orion.

That’s all.  I just needed to say it out loud for the first time in 6 months.

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6 Responses to “name”

  1. Beautiful – just the very most perfect name. Love you.

  2. beautiful and fitting for a love as great as yours.

  3. Thank you for sharing it, it is so beautiful. I love that he is always there in the sky, a constant…his spirit is strong.

  4. The Hunter. The grace and courage with which you held and hold his name is fitting for the mother of a warrior. Your son has your back as do your ancestors. Say his name, it is your prayer. I love you.

  5. That name is beautiful & powerful. Thank you for sharing.
    I also have someone in the sky/universe, who I wait for. I had an extraordinarily profound experience involving The Universe…Maybe someday we can talk about it in person. xoxoxo

  6. I love the name. I’m glad you can say it and share it.


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