Godmama Says…
a buncha stuff.

gratitude from a grinch

Why do I need this film to happen right now?
Well, for one thing… I don’t like Christmas.
I used to love it.   Surprising people with gifts is a thing I love;  Christmas has that.   Colder weather is a thing I dig;  the holiday season has that.   Get-togethers and chances to entertain and laugh with friends?  Yep, holidays.  But most importantly– sparkly crap EVERYWHERE!  Twinkle lights.  I love twinkle lights and the creative to psychedelic ways that people make their homes and trees look like they came from outer space.  Christmas has that.
Oh and brighter stars.  Christmastime has that, too.
The constellation Orion doesn’t show up til around December.
I’ve always loved that constellation so much that I named my son after it.
He was born right before Christmas 2 years ago.  So now Christmas has that.
and endless songs about a little boy being born under a magical star.

So yeah… I do not like it, Sam I Am.

Since that day 2 years ago, I have managed to keep myself very busy with different things.  BIG things.  It takes big things to even attempt to fill or cover a hole the size of the one he left.  The latest big thing is this film.  The promise of the film has kept me busy and distracted and fueled with something to look forward to… something productive and exciting that will keep me occupied and make me tired enough to sleep at night.  Without this giant overwhelming project I have too much time to look around me at the world and go, “Oh, shit… Christmas.”
With it,  I can feel like I have grown and healed a bit and am honoring the spirit of that boy and somehow passing inspiration along to others while I’m at it.
The story that I have written reflects the journey of a fallen superhero from tragedy and powerlessness to transformation and re-activation of power.  That is a story I need to tell and one that I need to see.   I need to share it with the world and with my own self.   When I had music I created songs with lyrics I needed to hear.   When I paint I create the things that I need to look at.   I fill in blanks.   I have a huge, massive blank right now and I need to fill it in.  The creation of any art is a release, a catharsis, a time capsule, a roadmap, a rite of passage…
A superhero who rises from her own ashes and refuses to give up, that is something I need to see and be.   I need to play out this little fantasy and share it so that someone else might be uplifted by the burning, passionate fire behind the story.  When I was a lonely little girl the sight of this strange character lit my heart up in a way that made me feel like somehow things might be alright one day.   I need to give life to that character and prove to myself that I was right.

If the fundraising efforts fail, of course there are other options and I can always try again later.
But it will be much later.  The process of campaigning and promoting just to raise the cash has been a lot more draining ot my already weary brain than I was prepared for,  and I’ll definitely need a minute to regroup.   I’ll need to crawl back into my protective shell at least til the holidays pass and maybe come back at it in the spring with a larger audience and better video teasers.  (Did you know there were critics out there for Kickstarter videos?  Oh internet, you so crazy…and rude.)
Also with a bigger audience, my close friends and family don’t have to feel burdened to help me out quite so much whether or not they are excited about the actual story.   There has been an overwhelming display of generosity from people who I know just want me to be taken care of,  when this is meant to be cheap and easy for everybody if there’s enough of everybody involved.  So I need more people involved, so I don’t have to feel guilty and you guys don’t have to feel broke.
If it does succeed right now, then I can spend the holidays with my mind exploding with pre-production and video effects ideas and fight choreography…rather than humbug.

This has been quite an experience either way.
So with only a few hours left til it’s all over,  at least I can say that I gave a nice old man named Bill Shatner the chance to flirt directly with punk rock Storm.  Who else can say that?  Who does that happen to?

Merry Humbug everybody, and thank you for being a part of this crazy ride, wherever it goes next.
Kirk out.

Shatner and Maya


2 Responses to “gratitude from a grinch”

  1. Reblogged this on Going for the Throat and commented:
    Calling out to y’all requesting any support you can offer for my good friend’s incredible film project. She is almost at 80% of her goal with a little more than 2 hours to go! Support!

  2. I am reading this after your campaign SUCCEEDED! I helped because it was part of what I like to do at Christmas – help people who need it. Sorry I couldn’t do more, but I guess it was enough!

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