Godmama Says…
a buncha stuff.

first signs of Rain

The beginning phases of production have begun on the film, and the Rain clouds are beginning to form.
The crew is coming together piece by piece and major components of the production process that I don’t understand at all (namely: all of it)  have been taken over by professionals.  That is exciting, humbling, and frankly it’s freaking me right the hell out.

I am wildly honored that genuine pros have taken enough of an interest in the project that it’s growing into a bigger thing than what I could ever handle on my own, but what that means is that it is largely out of my hands at this point.

Imagine creating something very personal out of raw heart and soul and love and tears, and then handing that very delicate vulnerable newborn creation over to someone you just met.  Then that person takes it away for a while and has meetings about it and passes it around to other people you don’t know and they examine it and judge it and decide what to do with it when they have time.   Meanwhile, they are very busy and so they don’t have time to talk to you about it just yet… maybe some time next week.
I’m not saying I’m anxious or anything but I’m blog-venting at 3am on Sunday morning instead of… wait,  what’s the other thing I used to do?  Oh right:  sleeping.

I am the first one to admit I am a control freak- especially when it comes to anything creative– and so the whole “let go and have faith in the process” part of the process before I know exactly what the process is is making me kinda wanna chew off my own arm.

At this point I feel a bit like the pregnant lady from the hospital scene in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.
“What do I do?”  she asks,  splayed out on a table with a crowd of people looking up her crotch.
“Oh nothing, dear! You’re not qualified!”

Not to sound the slightest bit ungrateful…I am not.
I have absolute faith in the director I chose who has taken the reigns on Rain.  We discussed early on that this part of the journey would be arduous, tedious at times, and not very sexy…  and I made damn sure that the person who would be taking my creation out of my hands in this way is someone I trusted 200%.

I’m  just overwhelmed and impatient and pacing at the door like a dog who’s about to piss on the carpet if somebody doesn’t let me out soon.
I should go running… again.
Excited… just excited… shhhh…. kava tea for me.

On with the show!

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One Response to “first signs of Rain”

  1. Thanks Maya for documenting your journey into the fan made film process!


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