Godmama Says…
a buncha stuff.


Did some green screen test filming yesterday.
No other cast members were present,  no props to play with,  no set yet… just me alone with the green screen under the lights and the microscope.

I’ve been so busy fussing over details of getting this ship off the ground that I almost forgot something:
It’s been a solid 8 years since I have been onstage- and that was in my comfort zone.
When I had a band I could perform in front of 2000 people without being the slightest bit uncomfortable.  I felt alive onstage and thrived on the energy that flowed between the music and the audience.  I could transform and transcend through that energy.  In those moments onstage I had no fear of anything except the end of the show.
Strip it down to a small crowd however and another truth would come out:  I am surprisingly shy.  People who have known me for more than a day think it’s hilarious when I say that but it’s true.
I share myself to the point of being an exhibitionist and I have rarely felt more alive than the times I’ve bared my soul in front of hundreds of strangers…  but If you asked me to play my guitar unplugged without a band and sing directly to one person,  I’d come up with a way to distract you and then quickly hide under a rock.

Consequently, I have a fast new respect for my professional actor friends.  I’ve done some theater stuff before but it’s been a long time.   I’ve been on camera before but always documentary stuff where all I have to be is my goofy self.
Acting in front of cameras, solo, felt a lot like having to sing without a band for an intimate crowd.
It is entirely thrilling to be performing again,  I’m hardly sleeping because of how psyched I am about all of this.  I am more excited about this project and watching it come to life than I have ever been about anything else I have created (except for that one thing… and this is for him).   But when the costume was on and all those big lights were in my face and the cameras were rolling  and I heard the words “Whenever you’re ready” (the gentle way to call “Action“),  I felt exposed in a whole new way.
Green in front of the green screen.  Fitting.

The butterflies in my tummy were struck by lightning and caught on fire for a little while.
I got over it, of course, and I’m fully in love with the idea of having this fresh new challenge that I’m a little but scared of.

I’m in excellent hands,  so there’s really nothing to fear but my own oncoming emotional catharsis.
I’ve got two great directors who are wildly out of my league but generously and genuinely interested in the film and excited with me about creating it.  In the hands of director R. Zane Rutledge and his partner Jeff Stolhand,  my little passion play is being lifted up to the next level and beyond.   So far there are the two directors;  a spectacularly talented DP named Drew Barrera; FX make-up artist and mohawk tamer,   Sayward Anderson;  and our awesome goldenhearted producer,  Matt Joyce. These people are creative magicians and I am star struck in the presence of their talent.  I am in awe of the fact that I somehow ended up with such an incredible crew, and I will honor their hard work with my own.

So last night we did some green screen test filming and I needed to be not just in costume of course, but in character.   Here’s how hopped up on goofballs I am over this thing:  one of the main directions I kept getting was that I needed to “smile less”.
In the past 2 years and 2 months, that has never been an issue.  But last night… in full costume for the first time, in the presence of my amazing team and all the lights and cameras…  I had a hard time getting the grin off my face even when it was required.   No worries, though- I’ll eat the nerves and absorb the challenge and rock this thing harder than I’ve ever rocked anything,  but for now it’s a nice change for smiling to be the thing I can’t stop doing for a while.

I keep saying it because it keeps being true: This little film is going to be something truly, truly special.
Meanwhile, I have got to calm down and get some sleep… the bags under my eyes are no joke in dramatic lighting.

Stay tuned, Storm watchers…


3 Responses to “Green”

  1. LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Go get ’em! (Where “”em” means both everybody out there, all the props and accolades, and a few hours of sleep here and there.)

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